Kim Kardashian Receives Nobel Prize for Nipple Bra
Never again will there be unerect nipples due to the silly global warming: Reality TV star Kim Kardashian is retroactively awarded the Nobel Prize in Physics for her ingenious invention to combat the consequences of climate change. A bombshell in Sweden: Ferenc Krausz, Pierre Agostini, and the Frenchwoman Anne L‘Huillier have their Physics Nobel Prize revoked, which they were originally supposed to receive for the development of instruments to explore complex processes in atoms and molecules. "We made a big mistake," admitted the Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences remorsefully after watching the latest video from the hobby physicist Kim Kardashian.
In the clip, Kardashian presents a brilliant invention that could crucially help humanity combat the consequences of climate change: a bra with integrated fake nipples. According to the reality TV icon and influencer, global warming will cause nipples to no longer adequately erect in the future. Her bra is the perfect solution to the impending disaster on the planet: "No matter how hot it is, you will always look like you're cold," she says at the end of her scientific presentation, which comes in the form of a satirical advertisement.
Kim Kardashian Has More Inventions Up Her Sleeve
"To hell with the stupid and completely incomprehensible quantum optics experiments by Krausz, Agostini, and L’Huillier, which can help humanity gain a deeper understanding of the atomic level," declared the deeply impressed Nobel Prize committee, "we give the prize to Kim!" The committee is likely pleased that the nipple bra is just the beginning of a series of spectacular inventions by Kardashian to contain the unpleasant consequences of human misconduct on Earth. The 43-year-old, in collaboration with leading plastic surgeons, has developed inflatable lip implants to protect against global floods due to rising sea levels, capable of keeping an entire family afloat for weeks.
She also plans to create a hair helmet that guarantees an impeccable hairstyle despite hurricanes and tsunamis. Additionally, her Nobel-worthy nipple bra will be further developed in collaboration with James Bond's scientific staff, allowing it to be used for sharp shooting to ward off overly intrusive climate refugees.
The Nobel Prize committee also acknowledges her lifetime achievements. Even without these inventions, Kardashian has already earned the prize fairly: through her TV shows and social media presence, she has distracted millions of people, preventing them from thinking about climate change and getting stuck somewhere.